As kids we all developed an ego and we did that to deal with our world, to survive our childhoods and construct our lives. Basically this was a path of separation and while most of us survived we certainly carry all the wounds of our young years within us. Our ego makes us dissociated, independent and incapable of meaningful and intimate relations. We lose our hearts and therefore lose our way; we become separate, lonely and depressed as if we have fallen down a big black hole… and then we die.
What is always so amazing is how hard we fight for and defend our independence; this path of the ego, even when we dress it up with glad rags, still only hides something that feels very, very off. Our mountains of possessions and adrenaline-driven experiences cannot hide this loss of self, and only delay the inevitable.
At some point we may consciously or otherwise make a different choice and that is to go find ourselves, find our essence and reconnect with our source. We did not create ourselves; we did come from somewhere and we are going back there and the purpose of time is for us to achieve this round trip. It is like we are living out the microcosm of the macrocosm of the big bang. We started as one and separated but we will go back to Oneness, certainly the realisation of it.
Once we make this choice to rediscover ourselves we start an adventure of climbing out of that dark hole. We start working on ourselves. We accept that we are wrong about just about everything we think we are right about, especially the things we really really feel totally right about to the point that we will choose that over our families. The journey back to our source is a spiritual journey back to what has real meaning, to that sense of belonging. We begin to regain our strength and power and become more centred, and we begin to feel that sense of self which is like a homecoming.
All of us will face challenges in our lives. We will face losses, we will face storms of many kinds andwe will certainly be tested. However when you have the strong connection to the source you bend like a tree in a hurricane but you will not break. You come out the other side wiser and stronger; you might have even been knocked down but you soon rise again. You gain this inner strength for you and for all those around you and become a beacon for others. Never again do you say that there is nothing you can do or that you lack direction or purpose, for your source calls to you, calls to your heart.
Today is the winter solstice, our darkest day of the year. And beyond it is Christmas, which is a time to reconnect with our best self and hold that centre whatever is going on for our families and friends. For us, this beautiful familiar poem sums it up in this place and at this time.
In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter, long ago.
Angels and archangels may have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim thronged the air;
But his mother only, in her maiden bliss,
Worshipped the beloved with a kiss.
What can I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give him: give my heart.
with our love